Wednesday, 26 July 2017

My Long Distance Relationship Has Finally Come To An End

After three years of living a good three and a half hours away from one another - our long distance relationship has finally become just 'a relationship'! 

And boy, does it feel good to say that!!!

It has not always been easy, in fact, at times it has felt almost impossible, but here we are.
Three years later; he with an upper 2nd in Product and Furniture Design, and I still with two years left of university, which is thankfully less than an hours drive away from home.

Our lives are about to return to normality. But our normality is living apart.

So our next journey will be learning to live near each other.

Our relationship began in the summer before he went off to university. So there has never been any consistency for us.
We would just start to get used to having each other around all the time, and then he had to leave again, and then we'd have to readjust to being apart.
It was difficult. It was constantly, stop, start, stop, start, stop, start, when it came to our relationship. Always putting it on hold, and quickly launching back into it again whenever we had a weekend to spare. But somehow we managed to survive our long distance relationship. 

It felt as though we were living on borrowed time.
And now it's all over. We can actually be together!
At the time, it seemed like those three years would never end, but looking back now it has flown by.

The six most important pieces of advice I'd give to anyone in a long distance relationship are these:

1. Talk To Each Other 
Communication is the most vital part of a long distance relationship, it is all you have when you are apart. Take advantage of technology, chat on the phone, FaceTime, Skype, text - take time out of your day to dedicate to your partner. May it be half an hour in the evening or 5 minutes while you make a cup of tea.  

2. Make Time When Possible 
This is not always easy, but spending time together whenever possible will help strengthen your relationship. If there is a weekend you're both relatively free - try to meet up, may that be at a half way point or visiting one another. 

3. Try To See Things From Your Partners Perspective 
Both sides of the relationship will find different aspects of being apart difficult, be open to seeing things from your partners view point. 

4.  Be Realistic  
Social media gives us unrealistic expectations of relationships - there is no such thing as a "perfect relationship" everyone has good days and bad days, ups and downs. Don't expect too much, it will put    a lot of unnecessary stress on your relationship. 

5. Honesty 
Be honest with each other. Being apart, the foundations of your relationship rely on honesty and trust. 

6. You Will Both Change 
As humans we are constantly growing - and you will continue to do so throughout your long distance relationship, as will your partner. Change is something we cannot avoid, it may not always be easy to come to terms with, but understanding that you will both change in your time apart is important. And neither one of you should be punished for it. 

And for when you and your significant other can finally be together again, remember that it will take both of you time to adjust. Depending on how long you are apart, and to what distance.

When finally coming back together, try to have at least one date night every week. Go for dinner, or breakfast, a picnic or just have a date night in. Make time for the two of you again, reclaim the time you spent apart and fill the time you now have with new memories.
Be sure to find a balance, it's just as important to spend time apart as it is together, smothering each other can be just as harmful as not spending any time together at all. Respect each others feelings, discuss it, and find a common ground, sort out what days you will spend together and what days you will dedicate to "me time". That way you are both clear, and there will be no miscommunications or ideas that you don't want to spend time with each other.

The odds seemed to be against us, and despite what people may have said, we pulled through. Finally our time of being apart is over.

Here's to new beginnings. Here's to us.

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