Monday, 15 May 2017

Social Media is Ruining Relationships

Relationships over the years have faced many difficulties, but I feel we face the most challenging yet.

Social Media.

The private life of what goes on in the password barred social media apps, is exactly that. Private.
Everybody deserves their privacy, true.
But how healthy is this 'privacy' when it comes to relationships.

The delicate balance of sharing a life and living ones own life within a relationship is a difficult one, and occasionally boundaries may be over stepped.
The notion that social media is supporting and encouraging unfaithful relationships, making it much easier for one to hide things from their significant other has risen popularly among the top social media sites.
As if it's not difficult enough to maintain a healthy relationship, these platforms are offering ways to make infidelity much easier, with lesser risk of being discovered.

Snapchat is a brilliant example of this. For one, why do we need disappearing photos? Why can they not be permanent? If you want to talk to somebody, message them, or call them. If you want to see their face, FaceTime, Skype or actually meet up with them face to face. The whole concept of sending a photo of your face with text across it, is really rather odd when you step back and look at it. If you were to send a photo of your face on messenger followed by text it would seem rather odd...
Snapchat provides the highest privacy concerning disappearing photos and conversations (conversations that can be saved if desired...) and having removed from public view, the top three people most snapchatted people from your account.
The argument is, should people be allowed to see who it is your sending photos of your face too...? Or is it "private". From previous experience, the friction created between couples who had access to this information was unbearable, and could have been unnecessary... but the "privacy" of the conversations held no proof for whatever it was the partner was truly sending - therefore - ruining that relationship. Is this why this particular feature was removed? The freedom to photo-talk to whoever whenever as often as one desires with nobody having any idea is just one of many ways social media is wrecking relationships.

I have a huge issue with Facebook at the moment concerning this concept. Recently introduced, was "Secret Messages" - now, why anybody would need to send a "secret message" on their "private messenger" has got me baffled. Unless! You share your password account with your partner and they have access to your "private messages". If you don't know how this works, I shall enlighten you!

Facebook have come up with this brilliant idea called "Secret Messaging" on "Private Messenger" and "secret messages" work in a way so that you can have a conversation with someone - obviously a "secret" conversation - on "private messenger" - but here's the catch! It can only be read from the device it was created from - and the best bit - you can appear to have a normal conversation on the standard "private messenger", so as and when the "secret message" thread is deleted - voila - nobody would ever know it existed and your little "secret" is all safe and sound and anyone else with access to your account can go on thinking everything is dandy! Isn't that great!?

Now - if that doesn't sound like Facebook supporting some kind of suspicious activity - then I don't know what does. Why anyone would need to send "Secret Messages" on their own "Private Messenger" is far beyond me. Not only could it encourage infidelity, but with the amount of online child grooming - it's a recipe for disaster.

Ahhh... the wonderful world of Instagram. Where there are hundreds upon thousands of people at your feet. Being able to stalk the idyllic island life of the Hawaiian babes, whilst sitting at an English bus stop in the pouring rain next to a hooded teen blaring rap music. Or being able to get inspiration by all the fitness gurus, or the makeup tutorials or purely to stalk all the attractive people you know subtly, scrolling through peoples private lives whenever suits you, feasting your eyes with nothing other than the so called "Insta-models" who are really just offering you their boobs and butts on an 'acceptable' platform avoiding the word porn.
You get my point. It's a little creepy having that much access to peoples lives.
So where does this fit into relationships?
Let's start with #CoupleGoals shall we? Unrealistic expectations provided by social media are wrecking relationships everywhere. People aspire to have what is presented as 'the perfect relationship' which predominantly does not exist. They strive for something they cannot reach, which ultimately crushes what they have.
Another form of social media to adopt 'stories' and 'private disappearing photo messages' - I've said enough on that one. Thanks Instagram for adding that to the mix.
Direct messages are also available on Instagram - this time with a much wider audience to talk to, which yes, does have it's perks. But...

There is temptation provided by these social media sites, paranoia goes up, anxiety kicks in and that leaves us feeling drained and unhealthy. It's been made extremely easy to cheat, and even easier now social media has sided with it. There is nothing we can do, but trust that our partners are loyal and loving. Social media is ever evolving, but these supports of "secret messages" are damaging to both relationships and health. Roll on the next update, and hope it's favours for infidelity are removed.

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